Restless.

One word to define me right now.

Not your average fidgety types or pacing up and down - kind of restless.

Like something is stuck in my chest - kind of restless.

Breathing deeply makes it a little lighter. But that is only little. 

How else would you feel if you have already had conversations with the other in your head - but in reality, you are still waiting for the other person to open their mouth?

How else would you feel if you have finished creating your art/ your blog - but in reality, the page has to still finish loading?

How else would you feel when you are all set to make your dreams come true - but are stuck by inaction because you HAVE to wait it out - they HAVE to come to you?

Cycle of emotions for me.

Restless. Inert. Lethargy. Suffocating. Angry. Sad.

Break the cycle.

Now. 

Work is a 20 minute commute for me. 

30 minutes - if I make pit stops. 

10 minutes - if I ride at a speed which indicates my tail is on fire.

Today as I zoomed by, passing all familiar sights, I also passed a bunch of little girls skipping and running along the road. One little girl caught my eye. Wearing a school uniform, though I am sure it did not belong to her. I don't think she goes to school. Wild unkempt hair caught in a loose pony, a face that wasn't scrubbed, bare feet, white teeth.

And not a worry in the world. Except to keep up with the rest.

And the sound of jingling laughter as she heads with her friends to play under the shade of the trees. 

I have never felt nostalgic about my childhood or thought about the days gone by without a worry. Never wanted those days to come back. Figured life is all about progression. Which it is.

What "they" say is true :)

It is not the age. It is the heart.  

Today my heart wants to be all of six again.